Telling Him

Behind the bathroom door...

There was an article in this month’s Fit Pregnancy about how certain moms-to-be told their spouses/partners/baby daddies and I was surprised that these M2B even had stories to share. I understand if the F2B is out of town, but if he’s just at work or playing golf or at the DMV—why aren’t you taking the test together? An informal poll on BabyCenter.com says 33% of M2Bs took the test without their partner present. There can’t be that many men out of town!

I think it sets a bad precedent to take the test alone and then “announce” it to the F2B later: this baby is my responsibility before it is yours. Yes, I get it: the woman carries the child while the man stares at her nonplussed for nine months, but I believe parenting is an equally shared venture. I’m not going to be the only one who gets up in the middle of the night (this will, no doubt, be a great blow to my husband). I’m not going to be the only one who changes a diaper (my father-in-law changed a total of 1 diaper between two kids). I’m not going to be the only one to wring my hands if there’s bleeding. I’m not going to be the only one at the doctor’s appointments (dads like to swoop in for the sonograms, but he can be there for the pelvic exams too). No relationship is ever completely equitable and parenting is no exception, but the only way I see this family working is if my husband is as involved in this child’s prenatal life as I am.

So how did I “tell” Snowman? I told him I was going to the store for a pregnancy test. I showed him the test when I got home and said, “I’m taking this now.” We both stared at the bathroom counter as the blue line appeared.

He said: Is that positive? The line is very faint.

I said: My period is a week late. That never happens. I think we're having a baby.

He said: Are you sure?

I said: I can take the other test in a few days to reconfirm.

We stared at each other for a minute.

I said: Umm...let’s go walk the dog.

So, what's your story? Did you "announce" your positive test results to your partner or did you do it together?